After my divorce, I was clueless about dating. After all, I had not had a first date with anyone in over fifteen years. I did not know what to wear, what to talk about, or even where to go on a first date.
Saying that I was rusty about dating is an understatement, but when the first man that showed some interest and asked me to meet him, I agree to do so.
He asked me where and when I wanted to meet. I had done some research online and I had read that art museums were a good place to meet for a first date. BTW after that date I concluded that art museums are not a good first date venue for me, but at the time it sounded like a good idea.
I picked our local art museum; he loved the idea, and we agree to meet the upcoming Sunday.
Sunday came too fast, and I was anxious, maybe even nervous. I got there first, and he arrived shortly after. Awkwardly we said “Hi, nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah” to one another and proceeded to walk around the museum.
It was more than obvious that it was hard to talk to each other walking side by side, so I felt a sense of relieve that we had to be quiet inside the museum, and if we needed to say something it had to be in a very low tone. Neither one of us really said much as we walk through each passing gallery.
It felt very strange walking next to a stranger who was there with you, not really been able to say much, and I was getting increasingly uneasy, not because we were not talking, nor because I did not find him friendly or even attractive, but because with each passing painting or sculpture I kept noticing all the naked people, penises, and breasts hanging ever so nonchalantly. And then, that was all I was noticing.!
Perhaps I was not in the right state of mind or maybe I was just too eager to get on with someone, maybe I just was horny, or who knows what, the thing is, that suddenly and without thinking I said “Hey, what do you think about all the penises and boobs on these paintings??”, as I heard myself asking the not so “normal” question and instead of being shocked about uttering the question out loud I was genuinely interest to know his answer.
He stops walking, for a moment he looks at me then turns away as his face turns bright red and then turns back to face me again with a horrified look on his face. But then he continues to walk without saying anything, and so I followed him. Since he did not respond, ignore the question, and continue to walk in silent, that made the entire situation even more awkward. I thought he would had bolted, judging by the reaction, but no.
After we were done, he walked fast to the front entrance and tells me that it was nice to meet me (I bet he did not mean that), and without really looking at me or waiting for an answer he left.
After I had time to think about my perhaps lapse of judgement, I thought that he had a good reason to think that it was rather weird for me to ask such unorthodox question, I do still think that the look on his face was priceless and the entire thing was very comical.
But in all seriousness, back then I did not feel like I had to worry or perhaps I did not really think about the negative connotation my question could have had on the other person, sadly in this day in age, we really must be careful about what we ask and how we ask, if for nothing else, just to protect ourselves from any malintent.
BTW everyone (men and women) should tell their safe person where you are meeting, what time, when you should be back home, who you are meeting, from what dating site, any phone numbers, email and all the particulars about your date, even a screen shot of their profile photo.!
But I digress, on that first date I learn that not only it is very important to meet people with the same mindset as you, that you need to be mindful of the questions you ask, but also that Art Museums were not a suitable first date venue when you are on a dry spell.
To this day, I still avoid Art Museums as a first date venue, not only you cannot really talk, but you cannot see each other faces while you talk, and your perception of art may distract you from your date. To be honest I rather go to the zoo, at least if the monkeys are making-out you can perhaps laugh out loud with out judgement (maybe).!!!
Keep it Real.!